So, there haven’t been many dates as of late. A few lame emails here and there that lead to absolutelyfucking nothing.  I had a debacle with Match over the weekend. When I signed up they had that 6 month guarantee, if you don’t find love in the first 6 months, your next 6 months are free. I’ve been monitoring my progress and all signs were a go (not that I should even want to rejoin for another 6 months because I didn’t find anyone worth dating in the first 6. What makes me or them think that it will magically change if I get another 6 months free?!?!?) My 6 months were up today, so over the weekend I emailed Match to see if I qualify. I kept getting replies telling me that they were sorry, but I didn’t qualify, blah, blah, blah. I knew I qualified so I did a print screen of the progress page and emailed that to them. Same reply. I emailed it back AGAIN and I got the same reply. This time when I logged in, my status showed that I was out of compliance! WTF?!?!? I resent the print screen I did (thank god I don’t trust printed that page just in case!) Finally I got an email from a rep who knew what they were talking about and he assured me I qualified and would have my membership til. 2/2010.

In the meantime, I decided to try out another site that I’ve heard people talking about, Plenty of Fish in the Sea.  I spend a good hour creating my profile, uploading flattering photos (I left out the one in the bedroom this time, hey, you never know who’s lurking out there!) and genuinely crafting my About Me section. I did some surfing to see what fish were in my sea, logged out and then decided to go back change up my “Go Fishing” search. Found a cute guy who sounded interesting and decided to email him. The automated response I got was that this user doesn’t accept emails from your gender. WTF? Did I accidentally click on a guy who likes to do dick? So I go back to my original search and I’m not logged in so it defaulted to Gender – Male (are they trying to tell me that only men troll use online dating sites to find love??) I try to log back in and nothing. I’ve emailed the contact person for the site, but there is only one person running this whole fishing operation and it clearly states that he doesn’t normally respond to emails, and if he does it could take awhile. So free Match it is , for now!

But the name of their website got me thinking…are there really that many quality fish in the sea?

Hey, if I really wanted to just go out and get laid, I could go to any bar and have my pick (well, not anyone I chose, but I think I’d have a damn fine collection to choose from). But that’s not really what I’m looking for. This whole online dating thing has been quite an experience for me. I’ve never actually gone out with someone that I didn’t know. I’ve either worked/hung out with them or a friend or a friend of a friend or Julie Dwyer (you know, the chick who died in the swimming pool) knew. All I’m saying is, it’s been tough, yo. It gets harder and harder to meet those friends of friends when all said friends are married and popping out kids starting families. It makes you start to question, am I asking too much from other people, are my standards too high (like do they really need all of their teeth.) But then I ask why shouldn’t my standards be high? After all I could potentially spend the rest of my life  with this person.

So, for right now I’ll settle, for my vibrator. It doesn’t talk back, does exactly what I want it to do, it can go all night long if I want it to. I don’t need to make idle conversation or worry about what I look like or comfort it after it has a bad day (all I need to do is keep the batteries fresh!) This one’s all about ME.

But, I’ll keep my fishing pole dangling in the sea for a little bit longer and see if I get a nibble.

Hmm, I think the puddle just got a bit deeper…