Courtesy of Lilu

Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Ok, so this totally happened a while ago..I was in HS (don’t judge!)

So, my boyfriend and I are getting hot and heavy and decide that it’s time to take the next step and totally, like, go all the way.  He gets the condom on and we get busy (at least we were using protection, right?!?!) It doesn’t help that he totally doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he’s kind of all on top of me with my legs closed moving all around asking me if  it’s good and I’m all, dude, you’re not even in yet!

We finally get everything moving the way it’s supposed to be (not good, but hey, it’s teenage sex, what can I expect!) and it doesn’t really last that long…but in all fairness, it was his first time. Then the big finish. Then the pull out.  Then the taking off of said rubber…..where’stheflippingrubber? Screeeccchhhh. Part of it is still entact on his now flacid penis, but the rest of it?

Gone. No idea where it went. So he starts fishing (no pun intended) around inside all of my girly bits, but nothing. No really knowing how much broke off of where the hell it went to, we just go on our business.

Flash forward a week later. Said boyfriend and I are going at it  fooling around again. He starts to , er um, pleasure me with his fingers and he’s all, whoa, what’s this? Guess what he pulled out?

The rest of the damn rubber.

A week later.

Ewww, I am so lucky I didn’t some nasty infection or something.  After that I did what any normal person would do.

I went on the pill.