***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

So, I lived with this guy once. This very hairy guy. I’m talking Chewbacca hairy. Like he would shave (or make me shave) his back in the shower and clog the drains. It was gross.

 And that’s not even what my post is about.

 One day he had this pain. Near his bum. And he wanted me to see what it was. I was all eww, get a mirror, but if you *really* need me to I will. There was this angry boil type thing near the top of the crack of his bum. Last place I really want to be looking thankyouverymuch.

 We tried everything, hot compresses, cold compresses, etc. But it just kept getting angrier and bigger. It was disgusting. We did some research on the internet and it turned out it was a Pilonidal Cyst . What happens with this is that typically if they are not infected, they just develop under the skin. But they also need to drain. So you get this little “hole” for the pus to drain out of.

 There is really not much that you can do for it except go to the doctor so they can lance it and it will drain. Problem solved.

 Except he’s a dude. And he doesn’t like to go to the doctor. So he’d rather fix it himself. And by him fixing it, I mean he wanted me to sterilize a pin and pop it. My response:

No. Fucking. Way.

 So he did it himself. And it drained all sorts of gross stuff. And it got infected. And he had to go to the doctor and have it taken care of anyway. Silly boy.

 How I ever slept with him again after the hairy back and the cyst-y butt, I don’t know.

 I deserve sainthood I think.

Tagged as: Chewbacca, cysts, doctors, dudes, hairy boyfriends, silly boys