The big date was last Thursday and I don’t think there will be a follow up.
He was nice enough, but I’m thinking that we are in two different places. And before anyone comments, with some of what I’m about to rehash and seek advice on, I know I’m getting ahead of myself and thinking into the future, but I have to!
I did find out that his divorce is not final yet. All the paperwork has been filed, but it’s not finalized yet. Which is sort of a problem for me. First I don’t want to be a rebound. I’m looking for a serious, committed relationship that will hopefully lead to something in the near future. And second, technically, he’s still married!
Second, according to his profile, he doesn’t want any more kiddos. That is not a decision that I am ready to commit to yet. Yes, while I’m not sure if I want kids, I have been thinking about it a lot lately especially since that abnormal test I had and I don’t want to have that option taken away from me just yet. We didn’t discuss that because I think that’s kind of heavy for a first date!
Third, he’s southern, watches Nascar, doesn’t drink, doesn’t read books, sometimes drives through mud for fun. Oh yeah, at one point during our conversation he said something was more funner. I know that this may sound shallow, but I would like to find someone who has similar interests, who likes to read, can enjoy an occasional glass of wine (I’m not saying I’m a lush, nor do I care to date one, but I do enjoy a cocktail every now and again. I kind of felt awkward drinking on our date when all he drank was iced tea…like he was watching me, judging me) and someone that just doesn’t use funner. That is a huge pet peeve of mine.
The conversation was sarcastic at best. And when the food came…the conversation stopped.
Completely.
When we left, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. Looking at the body I could have done with a little more than a hug. But the teeth held me back. I didn’t know if I could bring myself to kiss that mouth. There weren’t any missing and they weren’t rotted or anything, but they were just not nice. And I can’t deal with that.
I have decided to not have a second date. I think there are just too many things that we don’t have in common and I’m not attracted enough to overlook some of them (namely the teeth, the grammar and the Nascar. I just don’t get sitting around watching cars drive around a track over and over and over for 4 hours!) Why invest time in something that might not have a return at the end. What if I invest that time and miss out on other options? I know I’m thinking too much, but I just can’t help it.
It really stinks too that most of my friends are married, with married friends. That’s where I do best, with referrals! I have never dated a stranger, someone that wasn’t already friends with a friend or a colleague.
Know any good guys you want to set me up with that live in Florida? I’m super cute, super fun and can cook really well. I’m a catch! Email me.
As long as they don’t like Nascar.
Or say more funner.
PS Don’t forget to check me out Thursday on The Real World: Venus vs Mars We are debating Casual Sex! Fun times!!!
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Ok first off a person anymore needs to look ahead on any potential relationship. It does seem anymore we don’t have the luxury to date someone for six months before determining maybe this isn’t for me. A person has to be able to pick up on the good points and bad points of a person and determine if they have a possible match at that point and it appears you are doing well in that regard.
Finding someone with similar interests is not something you should take lightly. Your not a young eighteen year old just starting life and wanting to explore. You know what you like now and what interests you so you shouldn’t settle for anything less than that.
On a side note, I wholeheartedly agree with not wanting to be a ‘rebound’ with someone that hasn’t even completed their divorce. My experience shows that a person needs at a minimum six months after a major life event(divorce, death etc) before they ‘might’ be ready to move on with their life.
I agree about the whole six month thing, at least! I’m sure that there have been other women in between, I feel confident he’s been separated for at least a year. But if it’s not final I’m just not comfortable!
If the guy didn’t do it for ya, then he didn’t do it for ya. It’s that simple. You can’t force what isn’t there, right? There are lots of good catches out there and you’ll find the right one when it’s the right time.
)
So glad I stumbled upon your blog. Fab!
Thanks so much!
Where in Florida are you located?