I had LASIK surgery on Saturday April 17^th. Best. Decision. Evah.

 I have absolutely no regrets. I was nervous. But it was easy schmeasy.

 I did my consult appointment with Updegraff Vision on Monday April 12^th. The appointment took about 1.5 hours. I met with one of their consultants and she walked me through the procedure, let me ask any questions I might have had, discussed her procedure and basically gave me all the information I would need. I had been considering it for some time, but never got up the courage or the funds to do it. I had been saving and decided it was now or never.

 After I met with the consultant, she took me to a room and made me watch a DVD about the practice and the doctor. This doctor and his staff is freaking awesome. I would recommend them to anyone who is considering this procedure. If you’re not in the area, fly in for it, definitely worth it. More on that later.

 I finished the DVD and a tech took me into the exam room and gave me the dreaded eye exam. Am I the only one who hates eye exams? I feel like I’m failing a test when I take them and that I’m never going to get the answer right! Then she numbed my eyes to dilate them (she said the dilation drops were really strong and she wasn’t kidding!) After the numbing and dilation she took out this machine thingy that looked like one of those thermometers they use in the hospital and measured each eyeball…..by poking it with that stick! It didn’t hurt a bit.

 The doctor examined my eyes and said I was a good candidate for the surgery! Yay! I had already started prepping by not wearing my contacts since the Friday before I went for my consult and they were able to schedule me for that Friday.

 I left there very excited. Then I tried to dial my phone. HUGE mistake. I couldn’t see crap up close. Distance was fine, but man those dilation drops, they really fuck up your nearsighted vision! The grocery store was a trip!

 I kept my contacts out and started these anti-inflammatory the day before my surgery. They were kind of gross, milky drops. I set my alarm for bright and early as I had to drive an hour to get to Updegraff. Friday morning, full of panic and no coffee (you’re not supposed to drink caffeine a few hours before the surgery) I waited. And checked my email, Facebook, etc knowing that I probably wouldn’t be getting online later.

 The phone rings.

 It was Updegraff’s office. They were having a problem with one of their laser machines and were waiting on the tech to get there. She said she would call me back as soon as they had an update.

 So I waited.

 And waited.

 Finally, two hours later, I decided to call the office and get an update. They were still waiting on the tech but she said she would call me back as soon as she heard anything. I reminded her that I was an hour away and she needed to give me some time to get there.

 About an hour after that, my original consultant called me asking if I’d gotten any updates. I told her what I knew and she let me know that the machine needed a new part and they wouldn’t be able to do the surgery Friday. But, they did get me in for 9:15 Saturday morning.

 I hoped I wasn’t the first person who they were trying the machine out on after the repair. I didn’t want to go all laser-cats on their asses.

 I had already taken a sick day. So I decided to do a little shopping, had dinner with my family and got a little TV in. Oh and a glass of wine. That definitely helped me sleep.

 Got up bright and early on Saturday morning (two mornings with no coffee. It was torture, because I had gone out that morning and picked up Starbucks for my sis who was kind enough to drive me!) and off we went to St. Pete.

 I checked in and they told me to have a seat. The waiting room was pretty crowded from all the rescheduling they had to do. I saw my consultant and she had me sign some papers and then pay (they took $100 off the cost of the surgery for me having taken a sick day and then not being able to have the procedure.) She comes back in the room and says, we have a problem. My debit card didn’t go through, even though I had transferred the funds from my savings account about a week before. Apparently my bank doesn’t allow charges that large. Dummies. I called my bank and they put me through to someone who could up my limit for the time being (up my limit? Like it’s not my money that’s already in there!) Turns out, she couldn’t do that. I felt like such a boob. Thankfully I borrowed my moms credit card for a portion and then paid the rest out of my debit.

 Then I nervously waited.

 They called my name and took me back to do more measurements of my eyes. You can never have too many measurements on your eyes when lasers are involved. Trust me.

 After the measurements, the doctor came in to make sure my vision hadn’t fluctuated since my exam on Monday. I hoped not, that would mean I had a hell of a lot more to worry about than LASIK. We were good to go! Then Dr. Updegraff came in and did his own evaluation.

 They took me to see Rebecca who was giving out magic pills and prepping eyes. I had tossed and turned about taking the Valium that they offer. I’m not a drug person and I’d never taken anything like that before. In the end I decided on 5mg of valium. She gave me that, along with a Prednisone and an Ibuprofen. Then she prepped my eyes, put my lovely cap on my head and little booties over my kicks and left me to relax with the sounds of smooth jazz in my ears.

 Then it was time. My hand holder Annette came out to bring me into the procedure room. My mom and my sister were escorted into an observation room (of course they wouldn’t pass up a chance to make fun of me!) In the observation room they also had a consultant in there who talked them through everything the doctor was doing and let them ask questions.

 I laid down on this chair that could spin back and forth. That alone made me panic. I’m the kind of person who goes to the dentist and when they try to recline the chair I automatically sit up because it freaks me out. But there was really no where for me to sit up because all these machines were over my head.

 After a bit of scooching up and down, they were ready.

 The cover they eye they are not working on. They started on my right eye. This machine comes over and they kind of insert this round contact looking thingy over your eye ball. This is what cuts the “flap” so they can lazer the shit out of my cornea so I can see again! I didn’t feel anything, just a bit of pressure. The whole time they are telling me to just focus on the light that was flashing in my eye. It took about 30 seconds and they counted it down for me. 16 seconds to go, 8 seconds to go, etc. I was very appreciative of that. Then on the left eye. This one felt a little more weird for me than the first one. I can’t put my finger on it, but maybe it’s because I knew what to expect.

 Then they numbed me some more and brought on the lasers. It was over before I knew it. Didn’t feel anything at all with the lasers. It just smelled a little bit like burning hair. All the while Dr. Updegraff is giving my mom the thumbs up through the window so she knew everything was alright.

 After the laser, they put some liquid stuff in my eyes, I assume it was to help the flaps close. They had me sit up, he had had me pose for a thumbs up picture with him and they escorted me back to my relaxation chair where my mom and sis were already waiting. They told me to keep my eyes closed and asked me not to discuss the procedure with them while we were sitting there. Understandable, there were people there waiting to have it done.

 About 20 min later they came back and took me into the exam room to see the doctor. He put some drops in my eyes that burned like crazy and taped on these crazy looking goggle things. I was a bit disappointed because before the procedure I was “testing” myself in the exam room by taking off my glasses to see what I could actually see and what was too blurry. I thought by the time I got back in there, I’d be able to see something, but it all looked the same.

 I was told to keep my eyes closed on the car ride home, that I could eat something and then I should sleep for 4-5 hours. No problem. We stopped and got some pizza. Remember it was an hour car ride. I opened my eyes and could see!

 It looked a bit like it was underwater, because of the plastic thingamabobs on my eyes, but I could see the small print on the door of the pizza parlor from the car! Yay!

 I ate, and then slept for about 3 hours. I could sleep no more. I should have taken the damn sleeping pill, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. The first few times I opened my eyes, they burned. But it really wasn’t bad at all. I had a little pain, and I mean little, not much at all, in my left eye. It just felt like there was something in it. A glass or two of wine helped that. I settled in and watched my new favorite show Sons of Anarchy for a little while. Even through my plastic specs I could see.

 I had to go back for a follow up appointment at 9:15am Sunday morning. Yep, they all rearranged their schedules and were there on a Sunday for a follow up. I couldn’t wait to get that freaking tape off my face. It felt so good! She wiped down my eyes and then the doctor came in.

 20/15 vision! I could see everything. I had one set of drops that I needed to do every hour on Sunday, every two hours on Monday and then every 4 hours for the next 5 days. An antibiotic drop that I need to do every 4 hours for 5 days and rewetting drops that I need to do every 4 hours for two weeks then on an as needed basis. I also have to wear plastic goggles when I sleep for 5 days and put some really think moisture goop in them at night before I go to bed. And bonus, when I left the office, they gave me a $50 gift certificate to come back in and pick out some new sunglasses. Score!

 I have a follow up appointment on 5/3 and then need to go back in a month. Basically, what I paid covers my consult, my surgery, all follow up appointments for a year and if I had to have the surgery redone for some strange reason. I don’t expect that to happen at all.

 Its been wonderful so far! Waking up and being able to see? Amazing! The only sucky thing is I can’t wear eye makeup for a few more days so I look tired. But hey, that’s a small price to pay for eye sight!

 Hopefully this surgery will help me see EVERYTHING more clearly and hopefully can see that some guys are just bad news for me!