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American Idol

American Idol Redux – America got it partly right and why Tim Urban sucks

by The Bare Essentials Today on March 12, 2010

America got it only partly right this week. This is why they shouldn’t allow us to vote. We don’t know what we’re doing.

 I know what you’re probably thinking. We’re not voting for something important like the President or something. But if you think about it. We really only have deal with a poor choice of President four year, eight tops. The winner of American Idol? They will be permeating our radio stations forever. It wouldn’t surprise me if Sirius came out with a channel solely devoted to American Idol contestants. And I for one do not want to be listening to the likes of Taylor Hicks for eternity.

 The Boys

I think it was a huge injustice to have let Todrick go so soon. He wasn’t my fave. I didn’t love him. But let’s face it…we let talent go and now we will be forced to listen to poor renditions of great songs (Hallelujah) by Tim Urban. The boy Can. Not. Sing. And his stupid flip hair cut, it makes me cringe every time I see him take the stage. His smug, I’m-so-surprised-I-got-to-stay look. Puke. He should be praying every night for how grateful he is. I’m convinced that he’s totally getting the pity vote and that’s why he still around.

 The pity vote should have totally gone to Alex Lambert. He’s another one, I couldn’t stand to look at him while he was singing. Or anywhere near the camera for that matter. That mullet, so 1980 and really needs to go. But, if you close you’re eyes, and hope that the image of his mullet hasn’t burned into your brain from having caught a glimpse of it right before he took the stage, he has a really unique voice. I’m pretty sure, given the chance, I could have dug it. But I guess we’ll never know. The people that get voted out in this round never get heard from again.

 Unless they try out next season. If they’re not too old. And actually make it through Hollywood week.

 The Girls

I was completely and utterly shocked that Lilly got voted off in favor of Katie. Katie has a great voice, don’t get me wrong. But she’s too old.

 I know, I sound like Simon. She sang too old for her age. She wasn’t fun, young or cute. She didn’t pick the right songs for me for her.

 But Lilly? She was so unique and had a great voice. I realize that Pasty Cline is not very young or hip, but she pulled it off. I thought, very well.

 Katelyn over Paige. I was not crazy about either one of them, but definitely feel that Katelyn had the most potential. Even though she totally looks like the chick Naomi from the new 90210, who also had a small part on Nip/Tuck. I had a hard time not thinking that she was going to whip out her school girl shirt and try to sleep with a plastic surgeon named Sean while her mother was sleeping with Sean’s ex-wife. I’m just sayin’. And was I the only one who thought it was in poor taste that the exit clip they played of her was her saying I’m the next American Idol??

 All in all, I have to say that I’m really disappointed with the lack of talent this season. My two front runners are Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox. Lee needs to really step it up though, he’s starting to get really safe. And Crystal?

 Would it kill you to smile a little bit? I know you have bad teeth but I can see already the dentists have been diligently working on them. And it’s paying off. But you are completely painful when you are trying to dance around the stage during the group numbers. You look uncomfortable, like it’s some sort of torture.

Let me tell you Crystal, those group numbers are painful for all of us too. And let me remind you, you were the one who signed up for this show. You’re the one looking to be the next American Idol. You can sing girl. Give in to the cheese, the rest of America does.

 I’ll leave you with a plea. Please, please stop voting for Tim Urban.

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American Idol Recap – Week 1(Live)

by The Bare Essentials Today on February 26, 2010

I am a huge American Idol fan. I thought I would start a weekly American Idol post to rant and rave discuss the contestants, who got voted off, who should have gotten voted off and all the stuff in between. 

1st week voted off

The Girls

Ashley Rodriguez “Happy”  – I don’t agree with this 100%. I didn’t think she was very good, but I don’t think she deserved to go…..just yet. She had a decent voice, but her rendition of Happy didn’t leave me very happy at all. However, I think she had potential and in a few weeks, who knows. I guess we never will!

 Janell Wheeler “What About Love” – I kind of feel the same way about Janell that I do about Ashley, there was potential there. She was cute, but her choice of song was not for you for me, to quote Randy (that’s the dumbest saying I’ve ever heard!)

 I think that there were a few other girls that could should have been voted off in their place, like Lacey Brown. Landslide isn’t my favorite song, by, well a landslide, but her version of it? Ugh, it was terrible. Not to mention she kind of freaks me out.  Or maybe Katelyn Epperly? I thought she was going to whip out a stripper pole on the stage, way over the top. Or even Haeley Vaughn. What the hell was she wearing? She looked like a deranged nurse. Not a fan at all. I think any one of these girls should have taken either Ashley or Janell’s place.

 The Guys

Joe Munoz “You and I Both” – I was not too disappointed by this decision. He wasn’t one of my faves and what was up with that man scarf? I’m not digging the look. That being said, I was really shocked that he got the boot over Tim Urban. That boy should be counting his lucky stars right now. After her rendition of One Republic’s Apologize, he should have been apologizing to the audience for having to listen to him fake hitting high notes and basically making me want to puke. Hopefully, he won’t be around for too much longer.

 Tyler Grady  “American Woman” – I was really, truly shocked by this decision. While his vocals weren’t the best, I thought he brought something to the competition. His swagga, as the judges like to call it, was awesome. Yes, he did put it on a little bit thick, but I think he worked it. I think he had real potential and was very sad to see him leave.

 My faves so far are Casey, Didi, Crystal, Lily and Todrick. I really dug Todrick’s remix of Since U Been Gone. It took me a minute to figure out what song it was, I thought it totally rocked.

 But the judges comments totally ticked me off. I get so freaking sick and tired of hearing them say, you need to change it up, you need to make it your own. And then when they do change a song up or make it their own, they get criticized. No one would ever know what song that was. That’s not original at all. Then they sing a song, sound very much like the artist that originally performed the song and get criticized again. You sound just like so and so. You can’t fucking win with these judges. For realz.

 Unless of course you are David Archuletta. They loved everything he did. And he never changed anything up. Evah.

 I thought it was totally uncalled for and unfair what they did to Casey. Kara needed a cold shower after he came out on stage. They went on for too long commenting on his looks, him being shirtless, etc. I thought it was really inappropriate and totally unfair to him.

 I’m not gonna lie, the boy is definitely easy on the eyes. And he’s not bad to listen too either! But there was no reason to drag it on and on and on how Kara got wet every time she  saw him or he sang. Enough already. Maybe she should just America’s Next Porn Star. Just a thought.

 And a good one. I’d definitely watch that reality show.

 Can’t wait for next week to see who gets the boot. And to see if Crystal will get her teeth whitened any more.

 What? She didn’t think we’d notice that since the audition her teeth went from orange to a slightly lighter shade of yellow? Keep blowing that harmonica baby.

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