So, I rented Julie & Julia the other night. Great flick. Meryl Streep rocks in just about anything that she does and I love cooking so how could it suck?

But it got me thinking. Maybe I should start a new blog. I can’t do the whole cooking thing, it’s been done obviously. And on a side note I was really disappointed to find out that the author, the chick who the movie was made about, cheated on her husband! They don’t mention it in the movie, but I read it on wikipedia. And they don’t lie. Ever. Seriously dude, the guy got fed fabulous food, a brand new dish every day for 365 freaking days. He had to listen to her whiney ass have melt downs when her aspic didn’t turn out just right (I would have had a meltdown if you put that shit in front of me, it looked so gross) and he had to sit there and watch Julia Child’s videos all the time. (Don’t get me wrong, the lady was a genius, but her voice can be a little grating at times.) And she cheated on him. Bitch.

So I started racking my brain. What could I possibly write about? Something where I could have a new topic every day for 365 days a year.

And it hit me. The. Most. Awesome. Idea. Evah!

I could screw my way through the Joy of Sex.

How freaking awesome would that be? Sure, I know what you’re thinking. She doesn’t even have a boyfriend. Details, details. I’m sure if I just put that in the headline of my profile, I’d get plenty of responses. Guaranteed. So I’m on a mission. I’ll wait to start this new blog until I have someone steady in my life that’s up for the challenge with me. There are 5 glorious books in the series (thank god cause the first one only has 120 illustrations and I’m sure that would make for a really short blog if I was going to do a new position every day!) But I am totally up for the challenge.

I haven’t actually read The Joy of Sex, but c’mon now, how kinky can it be if you can pick it up in your local library? Besides, it was originally published in the 70s. And how freaking awesome is it that the guy who wrote it is named Alex Comfort? Like comfort food, I’m gonna have tons of comfort sex.

The best part? I’ll probably lose weight instead of gaining the 92939338472817178504 pounds that I would have gained trying to do a blog on cooking or baking cookies or some shit. Yay me! I look at this as getting fit in the new year.

And it will make me more marketable. Who doesn’t want a gal that knows everything about coital alignment technique, lateral coital position and seventh posture? Hot, baby, hot. I’d fuck me (said in the creepy guy voice from Silence of the Lambs when he’s tucking his wee wee back and dancing all over the basement wearing the girls scalp. Except I’m saying it way more sexy than that.)

Now all I need to do is find a willing partner. Cause it would probably be a little embarrassing if I tried to do this alone with a toy from Eden’s Fantasy and probably a little difficult.

So, in 2010, I’m gonna BRING IT!

{ 13 comments }