***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s***

Ok, a few years ago, my uncle was diagnosed with dementia. My aunt had the patience of a saint. Who am I kidding, she really didn’t, but she put on a good show most of the time.

Now, I’m not making fun or anything because he had dementia. I think he was slightly off color before all of this came down anywhos.

So they are at home one day and it’s gotten to the point that he is mostly bedridden. He starts yelling to my aunt that he’s in pain. His toe hurts so bad that he can’t even stand it. So she’s checking out his foot to see if there is anything there and she can’t see anything. He continues his moaning and groaning about how much is toe hurts. She’s at a loss and not sure what to do, so she calls their podiatrist.

Luckily he makes housecalls, because there is no way she would have been able to get him there on her own. So, the doctor gets there and starts looking at his feet and sees nothing. All the while my uncle is moaning and groaning, oh my toe, my toe. It hurts so bad.

The doctor looks at him, starts moving his big toe and says, does this hurt. And my uncle says, not that toe, my other toe. So the doctor moves on to the other foot and does the same thing. My uncle still says, no not that toe my other toe. The doctor, very perplexed by now, asks my uncle to point to which toe hurts.

At this point my uncle promptly throws off his sheet and removes his robe, which he is buck ass nekkid underneath and grabs his pee-pee and says this toe! Mind you the doctor’s face is pretty much down there already since he was, after all, looking at his toe!

I bet they didn’t prepare him for this in podiatry school. It’s bad enough the poor man has to clip grody tonails all day anyway, then to be called out for a house visit only to look at an aching penis. Ewww.

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